Vexation: My Frustrations and Worries
by ryomaechizen2
Summary: Mikan, a young girl that has a big responsibility in her hands, is confused with what to do and how to act. A mysterious man she met is pushing her buttons and somehow manages to make her have sudden outbursts of emotions- Full Summary inside. R&R
1. Chapter 1: The Start of It All

**Hey everyone ^_^...**

**To the readers who have read my other stories, I know I said I would post a story if i'm done writing the whole story from beginning to end (meaning from the first chapter to the last) but I've been impatient lately, LOL :)).. I want to know what you guys think about the story so I'm posting it already :P even if I'm not done writing the whole thing :P well, if you don't understand (let's just leave it at) it's complicated :)) haha..anyways, here is my new story and I hope you enjoy :D and BTW, i'll be posting a poll in my profile. It's about what story should I rewrite first :) Whether I should rewrite IN EVERY INCIDENT THERE IS YOU first, MY FIRST LOVE or OPPOSITES ATTRAC T. Anyways, please vote on the poll :D**

**To the readers who haven't read any of my stories yet, I hope you guys enjoy this story :D I think this is the only story that is good enough :)).. I'm not really proud with my other stories :P I'm not emo or anything, I just always feel like no matter how hard I try I can never be as good as those well-known authors :)).. haha, i'm pathetic :P haha.. LOL.. sorry for all my blabber.. anyways, I hope you don't hate the story for all the nonsense I'm saying :(**

**Disclaimer: I SADLY do not own Gakuen Alice and any of it's character (though i REALLY REALLY wish I did :P)**

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><p><strong>Summary:<strong>

Mikan, a young girl that has a big responsibility in her hands, is confused with what to do and how to act. A mysterious man she met is pushing her buttons and somehow manages to make her have sudden outbursts of emotions. He always makes her drop her serious façade. She tries her best to keep that mask of professionalism but that raven-haired man keeps making her lose herself. Will she be able to keep the serious act? Or will she end up being the carefree girl she once was?**  
><strong>

**Vexation: My Frustrations and Worries**

**Chapter 1 – The Start of it All**

The chirping of the birds as the sun rises is all that can be heard in the silent white-walled room. The orange rays of the sun penetrate the blinds of the window. As the light enters, the tiny alarm clock rings. It wakes the young sleeping beauty. She sits up from her bed and stretches like a cat would. She looked adorable right then and there. She smiles at the coming of another great day, thinking how today would unfold. I guess you could say she was an optimist at some point.

"Mikan, Mikan!" the voice of a woman coming from downstairs resonates throughout the hallway outside her room. The voice had a sound of age to it but still had that sweet tone to it.

The girl, who was so called Mikan, answered, "I'm coming mom. I'll be right down." She took a quick shower and dressed herself. After that, she immediately went downstairs. Once she arrived, the smell of her scrumptious breakfast wafted in the air. In the dining room, she sat down and smiled down at her breakfast. It was waffles, eggs and sausage.

Her mother was peeking from the kitchen with a smile on her face and said, "Good morning my darling. Eat your breakfast." She had a bit of wrinkles on her face which showed that she was no longer in her youth but she was still strong and healthy.

Mikan smiled back and nodded. She started to eat her oh-so-delicious breakfast. She was enjoying her breakfast since it was very evident on her face.

Her mother had asked her to do an errand that's why after she ate her breakfast she immediately changed into jeans and a shirt. It didn't matter to her what kind of shirt since she was just going to the grocery. With a list of groceries on one hand and a small bag which contains money and other necessities on the other, she was ready to go to the grocery store.

Soon enough, she was in the grocery store searching for the items written on the list. She was about to grab from the rack the last item listed on the list when some other person grabbed it at the same time. She saw a hand holding the same things she was holding. Her eyes traced where the hand came from and saw a guy looking straight at her as if he was analyzing her. He was an Adonis. He had that tantalizing crimson orbs and raven hair. Using his other hand, the one that wasn't gripping the item they were both holding, he raked his fingers through his messed up raven hair in a frustrated manner. It made him look even more handsome. Any woman would've drooled right then and there but Mikan wasn't 'any woman', she wasn't like them at all. She just looked at him indifferently.

She said politely, "uhmmm, mister would you please let me have the can."

The Adonis plainly replied, "No and the name's Natsume, don't call me mister."

She replied politely, "No need to be rude and I'm sorry, I didn't know your name."

"Tsk, whatever." He replied as rudely as ever and rolled his eyes.

She controlled herself and said as politely as she can, "well, then I'll be taking this then. Thank you."

At first he didn't let go of the can, he was just staring at her as if there was something puzzling him. When he finally let go of the can, she smiled. She was totally gorgeous. Her smile that seemed to make every man in the store look at her direction.

She said in such a sweet tone, "Thank you mis- I mean… Natsume."

She was about to turn her back when the aforementioned guy said in a low voice, "Hey…"

She looked at him and said, "Yes?"

He continued, "You know my name, isn't it rude not to tell me yours?"

She looked at him confused and then suddenly said, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to be rude. I guess I should tell you."

She still felt unsure but continued anyway, "My name's Mikan."

After saying her name, she turned back and headed for the cashier not even wanting to know what he'd say or what his reaction would be. She didn't really like guys. She was not a lesbian or anything like that. She just doesn't want to involve love in her life. She used to think dreamily about guys thinking that there would be a prince charming and she'd have a wonderful fairytale but she grew up and didn't believe in such nonsense. She was seventeen for heaven's sake!"How could someone that would become a young lady soon still believe in such nonsense? Of course, young ladies don't believe in non-existing things such as FAIRYTALES and HAPPILY EVER AFTERs." Anyway, that's what she kept telling herself.

She exited the store not even looking back to search for the man she met. She didn't care about him. Why would she? She walked in a slow pace; she was in no hurry anyways. On her way home, she passed by a park. It was old and abandoned. No one seemed to play there anymore. She thought about it for a second and realized that there was a new park that was built a few months ago. It has more slides and swings and better things than this old park. She's seen the new park. It was wonderful but the memories she held in this park were many and she still favoured this park than the new one.

She entered the park slowly, reminiscing all of the things she did here as a child. The thoughts made her smile. She always played in the park when she was younger. She always had the raven-haired girl with her amethyst orbs as a playmate. Her name was Hotaru, Imai Hotaru. She's very mysterious but once they became best friends, Hotaru started opening up to her bit by bit. Until now, they are best friends and there are still things that mystify Hotaru but no matter what circumstance, they always understand each other.

She was right in front of a Sakura tree when her train of thought was broken.

"Oy."

That was what distracted her. She looked around but saw no one.

"Oy," the mystery person called out once more.

Realizing it came from above; Mikan looked up and saw the same boy in the grocery store, now sitting on a tree branch.

Mikan looked at him but kept silent.

"You are following me now?" Natsume said with a tone that either sounded irritated or was teasing her. She wasn't sure which it was but it sounded more like both to her.

Mikan just rolled her eyes and was about to turn around. She dare not say a word.

Natsume clicked his tongue annoyed that the girl wasn't answering her.

Feeling annoyed at her reaction, he jumped down the tree making sure to jump right in front of her so that she couldn't walk away from him.

"Little girl, I asked you something."

Mikan replied annoyed with a pout on her face, "Little girl? Excuse me! I am not a little girl! Do I -"She abruptly stopped and her face lost all emotion, realizing she had just exploded in front of him. She wasn't supposed to lose her temper in front of him. She kept her face stoic. She was trained to keep calm at all times.

Natsume looked at her curiously. She was starting to amuse him.

Mikan frowned and said, "I'm sorry for my reaction… Uhmmm, I better leave now."

Mikan bowed her head, gave a deep sigh and was about to walk when…

"Wait!"

Mikan looked up at him and for a few moments she thought she saw sadness in his eyes. She blinked and it was gone. She thought maybe she was just imagining it.

"Yes?" Mikan asked in a soft voice.

Soon enough, Mikan was walking home. She was in deep thought. She was thinking about what he said. It kept repeating and repeating in her mind. Her thoughts were whirling with that little statement that he said.

She arrived home. She put down the groceries then went upstairs. She went inside her room and lay there. Her thoughts were still occupied with what he said. She ended up sleeping all through the afternoon with his words whirling in her mind.

"_There's nothing wrong with being yourself… LITTLE GIRL," he said softly but said the last 2 words in a teasing manner._

_He walked away…_

**-End of Chapter 1-**

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><p><strong>well, that's all for now..<strong>

**I hope it was interesting enouguh for you guys..**

***sigh* was it boring? please REVIEW**

**I'd really appreciate it.. FLAMES are accepted :).. I just need to know what you guys think (positive and negative). The reviews are what inspire me the most. That's all I ask..**

**You are also very welcome to PM me.. sorry if I'm demanding, just need your thoughts badly :P**

**that's all.. Ja ne :)**

**-Seiiri**


	2. Chapter 2: Determination

**Hey everyone! :D Here's the second chapter ^_^ ENJOY! :)**

**I am dedicating this 2nd chapter to my FFnet friend: crimson eyed girl - it's finally your SPRING break! congrats :P LOL hehe :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice**

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><p><em>Previously:<em>

_She arrived home. She put down the groceries then went upstairs. She went inside her room and lay there. Her thoughts were still occupied with what he said. She ended up sleeping all through the afternoon with his words whirling in her mind._

"_There's nothing wrong with being yourself… LITTLE GIRL," he said softly but said the last 2 words in a teasing manner._

_He walked away…_

**Vexation: My Frustrations and Worries**

**Chapter 2 – Determination**

Her room had rays of orange passing through her curtains. She woke up the moment the orange rays hit her closed eye lids. Her eye lids fluttered open and her long lashes fluttered as well. She sat up and stretched.

_He walked away…_

The single thought that came through her mind. That thought that seemed to disturb her. Thinking it was nonsense, she let the thought go. Why would she care? He was nothing to her. He was just some guy she met at the grocery.

She stood up feeling a little dizzy from her nap. When the dizzy feeling had gone, she went to the bathroom and washed her face. She brushed her hair and headed downstairs. She entered the kitchen and saw her mom cooking dinner. She grabbed an apron and helped her mother. She started chopping some carrots and other vegetables. Once she was done, she was about to boil some hot water when her mother told her to ready the table for five.

"For five? Why mother?" Mikan asked confused.

"We will be having guests," her mother answered smiling.

"Yes, but who mother?"

"You'll see," was all her mother said before continuing her cooking.

Mikan didn't bother asking anymore. She just followed her mother's orders. She had readied the table and had helping in cooking the soup. It was vegetable soup. She had also cooked some curry. She was quite good at cooking. Honestly, she was better than her mother which was one of the things her mother was proud of.

Soon enough, the doorbell came ringing. Her mother called out for Mikan to answer it. Mikan obediently followed her mother's orders not wanting to be scolded for such a petty thing. She shouted a 'yes mother' to signify she was going to answer the door.

She walked out of the dining area to enter the living area and walked all the way to the main door. Their house was a simple two-storey home. She opened the plain wooden door to be greeted with familiar faces. It was her grandfather and grandmother of her mother's side. They were wearing formal clothes as usual and arriving in a very luxurious car. Mikan wasn't very interested to know what but it looked like a limousine but wasn't. It didn't really matter to her.

She smiled at them and let them in not forgetting to give them her respects.

"Good evening grandmother, good evening grandfather. It's wonderful to see you," she said with a wide smile on her face. It was obvious that she was delighted to see them since it's been a long time since she last saw them.

Her father entered the living area and greeted his in-laws followed by her mother. They too greeted them with great respect.

Mikan's father said, "How have you been? How are the estates and the businesses going?"

Mikan's grandfather replied easily, "We've been great. There have been no problems at all. Everything's as easy as pie." He said the last line with a sheepish smile.

Mikan's father said, "Well, that's great."

Her grandmother spoke in a sweet tone, "Mikan, dear, how have you been? Are you enjoying your simple life?"

Her grandfather added, "Don't forget that you'll be controlling the family business soon."

Her grandmother assured, "But don't worry, there's no pressure. We know that you'll be able to handle it quite fine." Though honestly speaking, there was a bit of pressure… Alright, alright—there was a LOT of pressure. She had to do well or else she could destroy the very thing her ancestors worked hard on building.

Mikan smiled and said, "I'll do my very best,"

"Actually, I'll do better than just my best," she corrected.

Her parents and grandparents gave a smile. All assured that their companies would be handled well by Mikan. They all knew she was capable.

They started their dinner with a happy mood and it ended with the same mood with small talk in the middle. They were all very happy with each other's company. Soon the adults went into their private conversation in the living area while Mikan excused herself from the group saying she wanted to feel the summer air. It was currently vacation but her school would start in a few days.

She was walking in the night, feeling the spring air. It felt cool on her face. She had a smile plastered on her face, happy to feel the peace she was feeling. Then suddenly, her thoughts were invaded by the words of the mysterious man once more…

"_There's nothing wrong with being yourself… LITTLE GIRL."_

It kept repeating in her mind and somehow the more that it kept whirling in her mind, the more she actually liked the little nickname he's given her. She was getting used to it and found it cute in a sense. She laughed inwardly at her own thoughts. Her smile widened, thinking, "He's interesting."

For the first time, she actually found a guy interesting, other than her relatives of course.

Somehow, she found herself in the old park again. She walked towards the same Sakura tree and sat at its trunk. She looked up at the sky and watched the stars. They were shining so brightly giving hope to the world. She remembered those days when she was so carefree, not caring about the thoughts of the world but she knew she could never be that carefree girl like everyone else. She is a 17 year-old for god's sake! She can't go doing silly things. She needed to be a responsible adult for she will soon be handling the family company, the Sakura Corporation. It used to be the Azumi Corporation and Yukihira Corporation but when they merged they changed it to the Sakura Corporation. It was very big company. It's the #1 company along with another corporation—which Mikan didn't care knowing for they were not rivals or anything—and the Imai Corporation was the 2nd.

That night she thought of that mysterious raven-haired man again. She wondered how he could make her explode so suddenly with those little words. She was shocked at herself. She always had a long patience as to why she could always control herself. Why did he easily make her annoyed? Why was he able to make her annoyance show? She sighed. She just had to practice more. For once her 18th birthday comes, everything will be turned to her and the press will be watching her every move. That's why she had to act professional 24/7. She was NOT allowed to lose it. She couldn't possibly. She had to be composed.

She was walking back to her home, determined not to make a fool out of herself and her family.

**-End of Chapter 2-**

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><p><strong>More will be revealed by the next chapter :) hehe :P<strong>

**Did you guys like it? :P hehe.. well, there were things revealed :P hehe :D.. i'm sorry there's no Natsume-Mikan moment :P sadly, the next chapter doesn't have a NatsuMikan moment too.. but don't worry for soon enough Natsume will appear and well... i can't reveal more than that ;) LOL**

_**I want to say thanks to the following people for reviewing on the first chapter of Vexation: My Frustrations and Worries**_

_**Kuroichibineko - the first to review :) thank you so much ^_^**_

_**crimson eyed girl**_

_**iza - thank you :) i hope you like this chapter :D.. i hope you review again :) and give your opinion in this chapter :)**_

**so there, thanks for reading ^_^ and please review ...**


	3. Chapter 3: Clarity

**Hello everyone! i'm so sorry for the late update! i wasn't so inspired that was why it took long - i felt sad because only one person reviewed :( ... but anyway :D i've moved on :P hehe**

**so... here's the third chapter ^_^ i hope you enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: i SADLY do not own Gakuen Alice**_  
><em>

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><p><em>Previously:<em>

_She was NOT allowed to lose it. She couldn't possibly. She had to be composed._

_She was walking back to her home, determined not to make a fool out of herself and her family._

**Vexation: My Frustrations and Worries**

**Chapter 3 - Clarity**

The morning went by uninterestingly. Mikan did the same thing she always did in the morning; woke up cheerily, greeted her parents with a big smile, and ate her delicious breakfast. She had nothing planned that day and both her parents had no errands for her to do. Her father went to the corporation to talk about something with the board. He didn't tell her what—she wasn't really given an opportunity to even ask—the moment she went down the stairs, he was already waving goodbye to her. Her mother, in the other hand, left after breakfast because she had to take care of her restaurant which is under the Sakura Corporation.

So, there she was, at home alone with nothing planned for the day. She wasn't in the mood for any company so I guess, in a way, it's a good thing her parents were both busy and out of the house.

…

After staring blankly for a few minutes, she decides to take a LONG walk. She gets dressed, taking her precious time, making sure she doesn't hurry. After an hour of slowly getting dressed, she's out on the street, walking calmly. Her mind started reminiscing about the times she was able to be herself, which were very few times.

She recalled the time when she had her 8th birthday. She had such a grand party. All her relatives, friends, and even celebrities – yes, famous people – were there. They all gave her wonderful gifts. Gifts that every 8 year old would be jumping around with joy for but she wasn't like any 8 year old. She accepted all her gifts with a grateful smile but never more than that. When the party was over and she was alone in her room, that was when she was able to jump for joy. When she was all alone – was when she showed how happy she truly was. The moment her parents entered the room, she was calm and collected. She acted as if she wasn't jumping for joy a few seconds ago.

Another time was when she was in the park and some boy was irritating her. She just smiled at him as if what he was doing wasn't getting to her. No matter how hurtful the words the boy was uttering to her, which he was doing out of his own fun, she acted indifferent to him and still acted kindly towards the boy. The moment she was all alone, knowing no one could see or hear her - she … CRIED. She cried her heart out and after she cried, she screamed. She screamed all of her anger out.

Her real self – her masked self… the cheerful girl that wants to do childish things, show her real feelings about things and be free from her responsibilities – the girl that has to always act calm and always keep her responsibilities as top priority.

She knew she could never be herself to anyone and it was clear to her that her façade was what everyone will, correction -SHALL – see.

But sometimes -

Mikan sighed. She has no other choice; she has to make her façade her real self. Force it on herself if she has to.

**-End of Chapter 3-**

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><p><strong>Did you guys hate it? love it? or what?... please review so i know what you guys think :) - you can give suggestions if you have any :)<strong>

**That's all for now~**

**Till next time! ^_^ **

**~Seiiri chan**


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